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About Darien

Darien, a.k.a. Dan Udey, is a system administrator for a small company, which has nothing to do with his presence in #mysql whatsoever.

Here are a few things people should know when dealing with me:

  1. I help people because it's fun. If you have an interesting problem, I will be glad to help you, and will probably end up doing it myself just to figure out how to do it. I may not be able to get it accomplished, but I will be able to point you in the right direction.
  2. If your problem is simple, I will trigger the bot to give you a manual page. Read this manual page. If you don't understand the relevance or can't find the answer, then say so. If I do a search on 'TINYINT' and the bot gives a page on 'Overview of Numeric Types', then search the page for 'TINYINT'. Simple no?
  3. If your question is boring, I probably won't put a lot of effort into it. Sorry, that's just the way I am. If I'm not getting paid and I'm not having fun, why would I do it? Nothing personal.

Generic Questions - Which is better, X or Y?

A lot of people will see two options that seem similar, such as different storage engines, different features, etc, and will ask 'What is the difference between these two?' Unfortunately, this is a very complex question, and you're probably going to get five different people giving you seven different answers within the first minute. It's going to be very confusing. Instead, try asking 'Where can I find the differences between X and Y?' and you'll get resources that present the information in a much more organized manner. Try it, it works!

MySQL Versions - Why we can't help you

MySQL is an ever-evolving application. New versions come out that fix problems, add features, and speed things up. Upgrade whenever you can. Sometimes it's not a great idea - sometimes you need old versions. Sometimes upgrading is a bitch. Either way, it's worth it. The speed improvements to JOIN statements alone are worth upgrading to 5.0,

If you are running MySQL 3.23.x, just give up. Seriously. Most of the solutions to people's problems can be found in MySQL 4.1 and up, so if you're running 3.23.x you're just plain hooped. Upgrade, seriously. If you can, upgrade to 5.0. I haven't used MySQL 3.23 for probably three years, so don't expect me to be able to help you. Others are likely to be the same.